HAPPY SAINT PADDY'S DAY MUDDAFUCKAS!!

Here is the ultimate St. Patrick's day party song by our favorite Irish rap group from the 90's: Jump around by House of Pain.

 

 

 

 

I don't even know what this holiday is for anyway!

Being A Girl Gamer.

I'm just curious. When did girl gamers become a heated topic of controversy?

Seriously, google "girl gamers" and you'll see a bunch of stuff come up about why it's controversal and then you'll see pics of naked chicks with controllers and a caption that says "girl gamer". But what does being a girl gamer REALLY mean?

When I was little, I practically grew up around video games. First we had a computer, then we had a super Nintendo that my older sisters played ALL the time, and then when the playstation first came out, I was fascinated by it's open worldness and freedom. In elementary school, I enjoyed playing the little computer games when they had nothing else for us to do, and when the sims came out, I HAD to have a computer, even if it means not eating a full dinner for a few weeks. Now, I know that some girl gamers are quick to say that they've always hung out with the guys and never played dolls, I had a better relationship with guys in school, but outside of school I had female friends, and we didn't play dolls (I have always been scared of dolls) we played with our build-a-bears. But eventually I because the social outcast, and no one wanted to hang out with me, all of my sisters had grown up and moved out, so it's always been me and a kick ass video game. Video games have always been my best friend.

But some of us "girl gamers" just downright infuriate me. There are 2 1/2 types that annoy me.

The first one is the attention whore FPS player. This chick ONLY plays Call of duty and/or Halo and the only reason she plays them is because she wants to seem like the relatable-datable chick that all the guys want. These are the girl gamers that I used to experience in school, but that's because I went to a school full of sluts. I can't even begin to explain how many times I have been in a group conversation about video games where the only other girl is going on and on about Call of duty. And she never says anything other than "oh I play call of duty!" like that's the only video game to ever exist on Earth, and she doesn't say it because she really wants to talk about it, she just wants every guy in the group to have an epiphany and think "GASP! That's my dream girl" but no, honey. This chick knows nothing else about video games. This is the girl who you see pics of online with some lingerie holding a controller. Note: the quickest way to call this girl out on her BS is to throw questions about the game in her face: " what's your highest kill streak? what weapon do you use the most? do you use any cheats?" and if they somehow manage to answer those questions, then ask them this:

"what other games do you like to play?"

The second "girl gamer" that annoys me is the one that likes to say every five minutes how much of a tomboy she is and how she's never played with dolls and blah blah blah.. I understand how gender stereotypes are sometimes still in 50's housewife and we DO have to state our place in the gaming world from time to time. For an example, when I used to live in a small town in Arizona, the employees at the gamestop practically KNEW me and everything, but once I moved back to Atlanta, no matter how many times I go into the gamestop near my house they still assume that I'm shopping for some imaginary boyfriend or imaginary little brother instead of myself. These stereotypes are alive and well, but the stereotype of the badass girl gamer annoys me even worse. Sweetie, we are aware that you like boy things, but you don't need to piss on every single tree; seriously, every single forum, every single youtube video about video games, every single live podcast, there is a bunch of girl gamers reciting what seems to be some sort of creed:

I never played with dolls when I was little

I have more male friends than female friends

I like doing things that boys do

and I am a girl.

Congratulations. However, I WOULD be contradicting myself if I didn't say I wasn't guilty of this (I just stated like, half of it in the first paragraph) but it's like spam and it's irritating, it's just another way some girl gamers make us look bad. 

Another type of "girl gamer" that has the potential to annoy me is the anime freak. Back in the sailor moon - namco - konami - pokemon days of my childhood I loved anime, but if you ask me a question about which character from Total Blade Power I liked the most, Ranuke or Ishuamuki, you wont really get a response out of me. There is nothing wrong with loving anime, it is fucking hilarious and a lot of it is cool, but I guess since a lot of the makers of video games are Japanese it is assumed that I'm supposed to religiously know the name of all anime series ever to exist. Plus I kinda grew out of my anime phase a while ago. 

Disclaimer: girl gamers are indeed, awesome people, and while we are the minority of the gaming world, there are some people who hear the words "female gamer" and roll their eyes, because there are "US" who enjoy games because it's always been a part of who we are and sometimes it's a world we can escape to when the real world gets too tough to deal with, but because it IS a modern trend, some people just want to hop on the bandwagon and go "oh yeah I like video games too" but no, I LOVE video games, I love how it takes me to another world, I love how I can accomplish more in a game than I can in real life, and I love it so much that I am going to school for video game development. For me it's not just a thing, It's all I have ever really had. 

And for the record, there is nothing wrong with playing FPS games, after all, they are "games" but real gamers play all type of games, regardless of the nature or genre, however, I don't really care for FPS; they lack story depth and if I wanted to play a game where I am in the military, I would've just joined the military FFS. I used to play FPS back in 2004. And I have played COD: hated it. That's for the stereotypes.

BTW check out the article The Different Type Of Girl Gamers by ComicalDisaster. And this clip from family guy about girl gamers. Sad but true:

Skyrim.

One word: Dragons.

Muthafuckin' Dragons.

This game is amazing. Ok, so I actually had gotten this game from the redbox a long time ago, just to try it out, and I was so frustrated that I was about to rant about it on this blog. However, when I actually gave the game a chance, I kept it for so long that my overdue fee was at least 20 bucks. 

First of all, the plot is awesome:

Tamriel, a continent on the planet of Nirn, is in the midst of a civil war. The Imperial army, lead by General Tullius, are kind of like the Romans in a way, and they hail from Cyrodil, the central province of Tamriel. The Imperial army is in a feud with The Stormcloaks, who want skyrim to be independent from the superior Imperials and from the region. It turns out that the Stormcloaks are incredibly racist, because they are basically a group of Nords, tall, fair skinned people from Skyrim, the northernmost province in Tamriel, and they can withstand the cold. You can either side with the Stormcloaks or the Imperials.

But the main plotline of Skyrim is dragons. You start out as a prisoner about to be executed for crossing the border into Skyrim, when a dragon comes out of nowhere and kills everyone, except for you and whomever you side with. Turns out, the dragons and the civil war were a part of the prophecy by the elder scrolls, that said that Alduin, the dragon-god, is supposed to somehow consume the world..?However, you are a dragon-born, a person born with the soul of a dragon (LOL) or Dovahkiin, and every time a dragon is killed, you absorb their soul and a dragon-born's purpose is to fend off any threat Alduin poses to Tamriel.

I gotta say, if that isn't the most epic stuff, then IDK what is. The plotline is really good, and the fact that theres at least 200 quests, theres no excuse to be bored. The gameplay is very good, I have used maybe 2 weapons throughout the game thus far, and they're two handed weapons, but they are very reliable, I even call my character Thor and my weapon Mjolnir HAHAHA Nord Mythology joke..no really my character is a female I named Loo because this playthrough was originally supposed to be practice.

But what actually GOT me was the scenery..

While wandering to High Hrothgar, I was walking along a path and noticed how ALIVE this game is. I will retell my experience in my best essay writing:

 The weather started out nice as I stayed the path to the highest tip of the tallest mountain in Skyrim. As I wandered, I passed several imperial soldiers, a group of elk, even some traders by the river asked me if I would join them for a drink. As I continued on, the sky got darker and it started to rain. I passed by an old nordic building which is now a bandit hideout, my traveling companion, Lydia, and I, were forced to defend ourselves from the bandits while afterwards looting their bodies for gold. The sky got darker and night started to fall as we finally made it to Ivarstead, which is known for being a small rest stop for people on their way to high Hrothgar. Here is where I heard the tales of the mountains, filled with steep cliffs and frost trolls, and 7,000 steps to get there. One man told me about the greybeards; the inhabitants of High Hrothgar who do not speak, because their voices are so loud that it shakes the mountains. After a good night's sleep, I began my quest to High Hrothgar while climbing the 7,000 steps. I trudged through the snow with all my might and without any encounter of frost trolls, I finally made it to High Hrothgar.

This game has kept my time. Bethesda really did it with this one, I mean, I didn't really like Oblivion, I heard that New Vegas sucked, but I haven't seen a masterpiece like this since Fallout 3. Sadly, I had to return the game today, I had gotten it again for my day off Friday, but I almost cried....jK, no really, I haven't been this attached to a game since AC. I will be getting this game for my birthday next week.