I Found Myself Attached To A Crab.

This is probably the strangest, yet one of the saddest things that happened to me, and one of the most strangest stories I ever have to tell.

I forgot this was actually a diary.

I haven't had anything really 'eventful' to post on here lately, because I was really trying to fulfill the status of an actual blog, but no one really reads this blog, mainly because I never really put forth the effort into making it into what I wanted, but I often forget that the original intention of this thing was to be a diary of my most innermost thoughts, since I really have nowhere else to write them down.

The difference between loneliness and solitude.

I used to think that there was no difference, but alas, I know for a FACT that there is a huge difference.

 

Loneliness and Solitude both battle it out.

 

 

Why I really think I am single.

It has come to my attention that I could possibly be alone for the rest of my life, and here's why:

College Bum.

I'm just gonna sum up my college experience so far, because if I know life (and believe me, I know life), this is how things are always gonna be.

For one thing, since housing is expensive, and I failed to take out student loans, I have to commute back and forth, which is a bitch because I don't like driving that much, and parking on campus is hell, so I probably most likely illegally park in the student housing parking lot, but I have no other options.

Due to paranoia and bad timing I always arrive on campus early, which means I have nothing to do. I used to know some people who went there;I kinda feel like the campus bum in a way, I clean myself in the bathrooms whenever I feel dirty, and I sleep in my car whenever I'm tired.  Unfortunately I can't find anyone I used to know or anyone to hang out with, so I try to find a quiet space where I can sit and use my laptop in peace.

What I've noticed is that this is just like a regular college - dorms, guys stereotypically playing shirtless Frisbee on the green, people hanging out, but for me it's just awkward, I legit don't have anyone to talk to, so I just sit in a building somewhere and look around. What I've also noticed is that there is a disturbing amount of cigarette smokers, like every other person on campus has a cigarette in their hand, like WTF.

There are a lot of really good looking guys, and by good looking I mean I-only-thought-these-type-of-guys-existed-in-the-movies type of guys. It would help if I was equally hot so I would have a chance, but it is whatever.

So far my classes are ok, my sociology class is my favorite so far, because we talk about people and basically stuff I rant about on this blog, and my first assignment is easy- stand in a crowded place and observe. Easy, no?

I have mixed feelings about college. I feel like I'm fully missing out on the college experience because of being a commuter and my socially retarded-ness; It's kind of like being a clown at a child's birthday party..you don't really get to enjoy the party, you just make a few appearances from time to time. I like to compare it to this poster that I used to have:

 

So much for study buddies. Maybe I'll find myself in a situation where I find a club or a study group and we end up hanging out..

That's better.

 Yet even though I may seem like I'm really ungrateful, I really can't complain. I've have been trying to get to college for 2 years now, and now that I'm here I can try to learn from my slacker mistakes that I learned from in high school. Just try to pass please.