oh COME ON!

I am the most indecisive person on the face of the planet...but I have learned my lesson, from now on, since I am incapable of making good decisions on my own, I will just ask someone, or get a quote or reference or something.

My hair sucks. A few months ago..repeat: MONTHS AGO..I had gotten a Frankie Sanford style haircut. When I had gotten the haircut, I was all proud and it felt good to have short hair. A week later I realized that the haircut I had gotten didn't resemble the Frankie Sanford haircut that I had wanted, it more resemble the Skrillex haircut :S

So I kinda edited it, fast forward to now and it looks more like the haircut I wanted, but this time it looked like Victoria Beckham's old haircut, and when I keep it up, it actually looks like the original Frankie Sanford haircut I wanted.

Here's the problem. I really really really don't feel feminine at all now. I try to do whatever I can to make my hair look pretty but it doesn't. I used to dress like a tomboy sometimes, but at least I had nice, girl hair to back it up, and now I don't, I'd rather wear a hat everywhere than go out in public looking like this, and because I don't really like styling my hair, it looks like my haircut is a botched job..which it is because I did it, but you can't really TELL.

And the icing on the cake is.....it's been what, 4 months? my hair isn't growing back.

I'm not sure if it is a result of my failure to retain my hairstyle or my severely split ends or what, but sheesh, there is literally no record progress of my hair growing. Even when my hair was longer, it never really grew down, it grew out, and when it did grow down it just grew at an extremely slow pace. I can remember why I got my hair cut in the first place: it felt liberating, low maintenance, and kept me cooler in the hot Georgia weather, but so far all I've had is a hard time, evil stares from my grandmother, and plummeting self-esteem. I have learned my lesson, and my lesson is that all hairstyles are not fit for most people, if it looks good on them, it most likely probably definitely wont look good on me. I'm not sure what to do right now, but I have learned my lesson, and once my hair grows back..pshh if it EVER grows back, I will never get it cut again.

Eyebrows.

(I've been so tired lately that this is the only thing I've been thinking about besides I'm so tired)
My entire life, I have been a victim of thick eyebrows. My eyebrows are genetically so thick that it's close to uni-brow status. When I was about 12 years old, I got my eyebrows shaped, and from then on I always cut them. One time when I was 16, I got a little carried away, and I cut them too thin. I figured that I can let my eyebrows grow out, then get them threaded, and just keep them up myself. For the record, I'm never getting my eyebrows threaded again. The lady who threaded my eyebrows ended up making me look furious, so I just shaped them.

My eyebrows have always given me a hard time, especially since eyebrows actually can drastically alter the look of someone's face. I had always been very insecure about my eyebrows and I always wondered why I had to have caterpillars above my eyes.

After growing my eyebrows out for about a month, I went to get my eyebrows waxed on thursday. The lady who did my waxing suggested that she just shape them so that they wouldn't be pencil thin and abnormal looking. I love the way she did them, and now it's easier for me to maintain them.

I've decided to leave my eyebrows thick. Why? because apparently thick eyebrows are a growing trend that I, unbeknownst to myself, have been following my entire life.

It's kinda like if someone was born with six fingers and all of a sudden having more than 5 fingers are in style. Makes me feel a hell of a lot less insecure!

Fashion Inspiration: I Miss The 90's

Back when I was a little kid and didn't have to worry about things like bills, money, and my future, I was happy and having fun and stress free. Back in the 90's when the sun shined all the time and I still stayed inside to play video games.

Songs

• So Much For The Afterglow by Everclear
• Volcano Girl by Veruca Salt
• Saying Goodbye by The Greenhornes
• Here Comes The Hotstepper by Ini Kamoze
• Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle by Nirvana
• some songs by the spice girls that I can't remember and don't feel like researching.

Notte: I didn't include pics of "clueless" because although we owned the VHS, I didn't actually watch it until 2004, and when I saw it, I was just like.."wow :S"

 

 

HAIRCUT WIN

And the new place to get my hair styled is...*drumroll*

Wal-mart smart style salon!!

I had gotten my hair done there before, once was a relaxer and once was a blowout and they both came out awesome. I gotta admit I had my doubts about going to walmart, because it's such a generic place to get my hair cut. 

However, the experience was, and usually is really good. I walked in and instead of the creepy stares, I was greeted with kindness, and I only had to show the lady the picture of the hairstyle ONCE. That was a really good sign, because in the past my hairstylists would go "wait..lemme see the picture again" but this time she just looked at it and ran with it. Then the other stylist complimented my hair and said that she considered getting her hair cut. It was a wonderful experience and I got the exact cut I wanted. Which was this:

...and it's the exact same haircut (pics coming soon)

But what makes this haircut better is that I really had wanted to chop my hair off for a while. To me, cutting my hair is a major stress reliever, and to me it represents freedom (maybe that's why I had that dream). I was also hesitant to get my hair cut short because I thought that I would look really ugly, and people would mistake me for a dude, but I look better with shorter hair, and maybe...just maybe...I will try to wear makeup???

Bye Quorra Hair :(

 

 

I'm getting another haircut tomorrow because of the thick muppet living on my head. My hair isn't exactly cut like Quorras, but it's about the same length and whenever I'm running my hair does the same exact movements of her hair in the movie, but for me it's too much to handle and I'm pretty low maintenance so I don't want a lot to deal with. Besides, it's just hair!

 

A Whole World Of No.

That is my hair that I'm talking about.

A few weeks ago I got my hair cut. It was excellent and it only took a few minutes. Once I got home I altered it a bit and it looked better. Whenever I go to hair salons to get my hair done, I show them the style I want, which was this:

Perfect, yes? ok, unfortunately for me, whenever I go to the salon, the stylist always gives me a half- assed response like "well, your hair is a little thicker and shorter in the area where it needs to be longer and ljgdfjgiofdjgbldfjblgfb......" as if my hair is an unruly toddler that the teacher cannot disipline. Right then...so after I left the salon, instead of having hair that looked like that above, my hair looked more like this down below:

Fair enough, and for a few days I did feel good about myself for a while, but then something happened. See, I have hair so thick that it's actually scary, and when I WASH my hair, it just takes on a life of it's own. Being that I have 2 jobs back-to-back, I don't have time to style my hair anymore, and when I wake up my hair looks like this:

What had happened here was, my hair had such a good time at the renaissance festival, that it decided to travel back in time and shape itself into the hairstyle of a friar boy. This is not at all the look I was going for. But it gets worse....because I believe that instead of growing downwards, my hair grows outward and instead of a human being I feel like a fucking anime character. To fully understand what I'm talking about, this picture below is my interpretation of what my hair looks and feels like:

.............................Did I do something to deserve this?


So after deciding for a while, I was gonna go ahead and get my hair cut some more, and I want it cut in a way where I still have my chin length bangs- kind of like a Victoria Beckham haircut thingy.

But I have to find a salon. I have no salon to go to. The salon I went to before is rude, overcrowded, and ghetto. I have a problem with small business salons: I don't want to hear a bunch of loud talking, gossiping, and pausing to talk every second, just do my fucking hair! And the part that pisses me off is that I kept getting the question "you don't want any curls or flips? just straight?" NO! just do it the way I say to do it! I have the picture of the haircut just cut my hair please!

I think my problem is my face. When I see a haircut on someone else it's so pretty, but on me the haircut looks strange and alien-ish. Just for once in my life I would like to be satisfied with the way that I look, because apparently Im having an extremely hard time feeling comfortable with the way I look, and I'm afraid that if I get the haircut I want that it's going to look weird on me, and I'm literally 10 seconds away from pulling a Deb from Empire Records and shaving off my hair, and showing up to work to hear my manager say shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior when in reality I just want it all gone, and I'd do it too if it didn't make me look like a dude (my face can't handle makeup) soooooo....I'm at a bit of a loss here.  I don't know when I'm gonna have time to even go to a salon, but I am about to just butcher it myself and call it a day, that's for sure.

My Style Evolution.

I think it's weird how my style had evolved because of a certain events throughout my life, like moving, getting older, etc. I think it would only be appropriate to share them on this bliary (blog/diary, get it? haha) and that way whenever I organize my closet I can finally answer the questions "what the smurf was I thinking when I bought THAT?"

Unfortunately, I do not have any pics of myself showing these styles anymore. Why? because during a temper tantrum (will explain later) a few years ago, I had deleted my myspace page, which contained most of these photos. It was around the time myspace was dying off, anyway. So I'll just use pics from elsewhere.

In the beginning, there was frumpy. 2004-mid 2006

When I had entered middle school, around 2003/04, I had just started picking out my own clothes and my mom stopped buying clothes for me. Back then everyone at school was doing that whole preppy southern thing. I had just moved to a small town and my school had a specific dress code: collared shirts, tucked in with a belt. The only store to shop at for these shirts were rave, aeropostale, abercrombie, American eagle..

My look consisted of a polo shirt, flared jeans, and birkenstocks a.k.a "potato shoes" which I still own today.

  This is the only pic I could find that does the look justice.

Hip-hop. Mid 2006-Early 2007

When I had entered high school, I had decided that I wanted to not fit in anymore, and dress like everyone else, but not just like everyone else, I wanted to be stereotypically black. Back then hip hop fashion was a little different than it is today..

The whole cropped hoodie, fitted hat and air forces was the thing for southern, black, teenage females back then.

Ghetto Fabulous: Mid 2007- January 2008

Around this time, I was still engrossed in the hip-hop look, but not only did I want to be hip hop, I wanted to appear attractive LOL. I was obsessed with name brand clothing I had no money for. I also got my first haircut around this time.

80's glam: January 2008 - May 2008

I had moved back to my hometown and this is how everyone was dressing, so by law of the teenager I had to do it too, but I had to one up everyone.

I was gonna wear this to the "Glow in the dark tour"

Electro/Nu Raver: May 2008 -  July 2008

This one is pretty interesting because it's the first style that comes from prolonged isolation. School had just ended and I had no one to spend the summer with and nothing to do, so all I could do was find new music on myspace (Jeffery Starr, Millionaires., Ultraviolet Sound) and at this point I had taken my Japanese obsession to a new high. I had also dyed my hair cherry red.

Yes, I DID attempt to dress like this.

 80's hip hop: July 2008 - November 2008

When it was time to start Junior year at high school, I had gotten my hair cut again and I had a fresh new wardrobe. I had also taken an interest in old school hip hop and hipster rap (see: The Cool Kids, Kidz N The Hall)

EMO: November 2008 - March 2009

Why yes I did.

It had occured to me that I was angry. Yes, I was very disappointed in my teenage life. At the time, I had friends, but my love life was nonexistant. This was around the time of my first heartbreak. So I turned weird, and emo. I had already had traces of Emo in me, after being fond of black and white, and I had bought my first pair of chucks earlier that year.

I had also gone through this weird cybergoth phase as well.

 

Boy I was really angsty, wasn't I?! (Sarcasm)

Now, I had really done a complete flip with this one. I had deleted most of the hip hop songs off of my ipod and replaced them with either indie rock or house and techno. I haven't had a playlist full of hip hop since.

 This was also the first time that I stopped caring about what other people thought I should look like, and what I wanted to look like, I started shopping at the store formerly known as Hot Topic, and I started watching videos on Tamara Menocidekunt 's channel.

Grunge: March 2009 - Early May 2009

I had gotten more angsty by this point. Why? It was spring break and I realized that I had no one to spend it with. So one night I was just listening to songs of Nirvana and became an instant fan.

 But then a thought made it worse: the 90's were super cool, I was a kid with no worries. I became extremely nostalgic and went overboard with the grunge look, my only imitation of the grunge look being wake up - brush teeth - change pants. Done.

Skater: Mid May 2009 - whenever

I had realize that the same stores that were selling my grunge look were selling skater clothing. I had started listening to rock earlier in the year, but then I realized I kinda missed hip hop, so I made the transition a little easier by listening to Kid Cudi, N.E.R.D, etc.

Im gonna go ahead and stop here. Why? because afterwards my style had become a hybrid of everything that I had found that I was into at the time. I really did go through phases when I was younger, and it was strange, but some of these phases last to this very day. I don't have just ONE style anymore, I have lots of styles, and most of them depend on the type of mood that I'm in; when I'm happy, I dress bright, when I'm upset, I dress slightly darker.

I thought it was kind of interesting to look back on how I used to dress. Needless to say, I looked fucking stupid: I walked around really thinking I was Emo or Grunge and hardcore when really I was just a kid trying something new - trying to stand out. So everyone, clean out your closets, re-visit your old Myspace and Xanga accounts, stare closely at your old self, because it will make you like your new self a WHOLE lot better.

One Up On You Bitches: Assassins Creed Fangirl

So as everyone knows (but not to a well enough extent) I am a superfan of assassins creed. Well, Yesterday I pre-ordered Assassins Creed 3, so I got my copy on hold already!!! YAY and then I'm gonna ask them if they want their poster.

Then on sunday I also ordered an assassins creed t-shirt from hot topic. They didn't have any smalls left, so I ended up getting an extra small. Plus the timing couldn't be perfect because shipping is free this week. Today it arrived! and it fits perfectly.

This is what it looks like:

I am also stoked because I am going to the Renaissance Fair this saturday, and I was hoping it would come in time so I could wear it..and it came today. I figured I'd wear it with a pair of white shorts (Sammie Sweetheart said that you always gotta have the white shorts, every girl needs a pair of white shorts) and my black slip-on shoes with my ray-ban shades that I got from the dollar tree.

Fashion Inspiration: Material Girl

This one is something that I find myself slowly coming into, and it's sort of an 80's revival. The reason why I am doing this one is because it is the cheapest out of all the clothes that I have in my closet, if I want to achieve this look, it would be very helpful on my pocket.

Now for a little off-topic rant: I remember when people were trying to do the 80's back in 2008, and I was one of them. I remember EVERYONE was trying to do it, rap was trying to do it, R&B was trying to do it, POP was trying to do it, it was cool then, but it got really ghetto because people threw on a bunch of bright clothes, did some poses and called it an '80's photo shoot'.



 

 Not 80's: New Rave

Not 80's: The left image is more like "HAYYYYYY" and the one on the right is "where's my stylist?

Not 80's: looks like an updated look of the munchkins from The Wiz

It was interesting when I was trying to find the pictures for this collage because a lot of pics were of people imitating 80's hiphop and that's mos def what I'm trying not to do, see MY style is a lot different; my 80's style only incorporates elements that people aren't willing to bring back, let alone acknowledge the fact that it is, in fact, a trend from the 80's. Since most people (meaning most my age) were born in the 90's and arent aware of 80's wear, what I wear appears stylish and different, which is what I aim for. Alas, here I post my collage of MY 80's style.

Songs

• The songs that I use for this style are the same ones I posted during new wave week, which inspired me to make this collage, also a few extra ones:
  
  
  • Must Be The Feeling by Nero
  • I Know I'll See You by A Place To Bury Strangers
  • Make Up by Vanity 6

Fashion Inspiration: Retroville

Since the premiere of the show "Magic City" on showtime, I seem to be obsessed with the glamorous fashion of the 50's. It was just so classy and sexy without coming off as trashy. Before,I saw the 50's as boring 'squaresville' where everyone lived in their perfect picket fence houses and the housewives makes the husbands dinner and everyone said "gee whiz"..but it was really badass!

Songs

• Video Games by Lana Del Rey

• Born To Die by Lana Del Rey

• Black/White by The Raveonettes

• Boyfriend by Best Coast

• Unchain My Heart by Ray Charles

Urban Outfitters WIN

I ordered this from urban outfitters last thursday:

 

It arrived on monday. Not to mention I think I got the last one because now they're sold out. 19.99 for a sweater that was once 70 bucks. WIN