Along with doing nothing comes with no t.v., and by no t.v., I mean that we are switching cable companies, and while waiting for them to arrive on their scheduled date, I decided to take advantage of my Netflix account and free redbox movie codes and watch a few movies.
Well one of those movies that thankfully, I got for free, was Spring Breakers.
Spring Breakers is that movie that was really hyped up because it was supposed to be the movie that allowed the 2 Disney stars, Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens to be shown in a more "adult" light (which Vanessa Hudgens already pretty much did, remember?) So yeah, that's definitely what it did.
But in their defense, all the girls were supposed to be portrayed as college-age girls, and since they are shown legally buying alcohol, they are obviously of legal drinking age, which makes this basically normal stuff, although the only one who is REALLY college age is Selena (whose birthday is legit one day before mine), the one in the pink hair was born in '86 and is the director's WIFE. So yeah..
Well, like any other college students, sprink break rolls around and they don't have the money to go. So the girls (without Selena's good girl character, Faith) go rob some chicken joint and then they all 4 head to Florida for some debauchery. Debauchery- clearly being an understatement- can be summed up into a few words: boobs, coke, weed, alcohol. After being arrested from a hotel party, Alien (a riff-raff inspired character played by James hot Franco) bails them out because he's horny.
Eventually, Faith goes home because the debauchery is too much for her lil' Christian self, pink hair girl gets shot in the arm, and that leaves the two blondes and Alien to bond! In the end, people sold drugs and died and got shot meanwhile looking out at the beach every 5 minutes.
This movie was shockingly bad; I actually expected to enjoy it, but it just left me confused.
- First off, I understand that the 3 girls were supposed to be portrayed as troublemakers, but WHY? were they just those type of girls who burned cars or was there a reason behind this stuff. The characters in this movie honestly were basically a turnt-up version of the cast of MTV's Buckwild- country ghetto accents and everything, y'all.
- Secondly, the whole movie wasn't even a movie and in fact, it doesn't even deserve to be called movie until Faith questions their actions. Other than that, it was basically one big rap video with nudity and slow motion booty-clapping the WHOLE TIME.
- and lastly, that ending? They shoot Alien and drive off in his Ferrari? What? you can't get away with that in the 21st century.
This flick...man oh man, it literally had no plotline and no story besides "girls in bikinis with guns." Was there a lesson we were supposed to learn? or were we supposed to accept the fact that 2 of our beloved child stars had in fact grown up, which wasn't even a hard concept to grasp because no one cared; we KNEW they grew up and it irritates me where someone feels like they have to prove to the world that they're of age now, but that's not even my issue. My whole problem with this movie is maybe why no one really liked Skins US; if anyone knows about the UK series skins, is that the drugs and hedonism were just there, Skins US felt the need to show it off as if it were a banned book and that's where Spring Breakers stands with me: if you want to have a movie be controversial, be chill about it, we don't need close up shots of boobs and people smoking weed in slow motion to know that there are boobs and weed in this movie. Others might in enjoy it, but to me this movie was a big ol' cheeseball music video.
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