I Found Myself Attached To A Crab.

This is probably the strangest, yet one of the saddest things that happened to me, and one of the most strangest stories I ever have to tell.
It's no secret that I've been very unhappy for quite some time. I feel like for years my depression has driven away the people in my life that I needed the most, and I don't have anyone to talk to (with the exception of some professionals who just do their job) I really just want someone who will give me a shoulder to cry on. Today has been really hard especially; some of my extended family came to town, however, not to be with us for the holidays like most families do. I have always felt like I didn't belong in most places, like I was some sort of black sheep.

When I came home from work tonight, I found no cars in the driveway so I was home alone. I enjoy being alone sometimes, and I was excited to have the house to myself for once, but it often feels like Castaway, where I start talking to myself. Out loud.

So when I entered the kitchen, I found 3 crabs sitting in the sink. 2 of them looked like they were already nearly dead, but one was facing towards me, and constantly making claw jesters. I was making myself some food, and whenever I came near it, it would slowly raise it's claws. I starting talking to it, telling it that I feel bad for it, and that I didn't want to eat it, which from then on, it would stop raising it's claws at me. I started to get concerned- I needed to see if it was alive still, and when I poked it, it jerked at me in a "come at me, bro!" style. I was scared, but I was a bit relieved to see that it wasn't dead, so yes I did have a full on conversation with this crab. I called it Eugene.

When I went back downstairs later, I couldn't find Eugene- the sink had been cleared and when I opened the refrigerator, I saw a black bag (presumably to be these crabs). It doesn't help that my family is from the gulf coast too, so of course these crabs are going in some sort of soup, but I found myself starting to tear up, as I asked myself why I was tearing up?

I am a 21 year old female admittedly crying over a dead crab. Why? Think about what happened in castaway when Tom Hanks' character lost Wilson; it was all he had to keep him company and to keep him sane, hell, Michael Jackson had a rat that he found late one night named 'Ben'. These people were lonely and friendless, and felt that in that moment they had no one to talk to. Also, I respected that crab- I also have been feeling isolated from work, feeling constantly berated by my coworkers, and since I have been constantly backed into a corner these past couple of weeks, it has been really easy for me to lash out at people when I felt defensive, so I understood where that crab was coming from. It sounds insane right now, but loneliness will make people go crazy sometimes.